Many of you that are familiar with this, know it can start anywhere from mid November to mid December, and can last anywhere till end of January to as long as early March.
(In 2015, our slump lasted until April. Fucking APRIL!!! Right as being house-poor from just having bought our first house in November, and then getting pregnant in December. LOL Yeah... I can laugh about it now.......)
The slump; when work slows down to a bitter halt... unless your roadie has chosen to say "fuck the holidays," and tours through it with someone like Trans Siberian Orchestra or some rapper/R&B artist.
Its the time of year when you're face to face with each other, for better or worse, all day and all night. When they discover the true inner workings of their household, the routines they throw off when they leave, how things operate, and just how much stuff we actually buy. *cue Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho" shower music*
The best part of the slump is that it starts at the apex of Christmas shopping. So they've just been paid for the last gig of the year. You pay bills, and you're left with the optimism that you have "just a couple" more presents to buy and then the spending will be over. Then things can, "calm down." You both give each other that reassuring nudge as you uncork the bottle of wine and go on about how excited you both are that your roadie's finally home for the holidays.
Cut to- 3 weeks later when you're one Walmart trip away from your roadie's head exploding, and you've still got family coming to stay with you for a week and a half and the giant Christmas dinner you're both responsible for putting on. Sprinkle in a 2 year old that's refused naps 4 days in a row and you've got the "Happy Holidays"everyone's wishing you- Can I tell you about my day?!? lol
The worst part about the slump is that its the ultimate test for your roadie's self confidence and self esteem. He knows he goes through this every year. That the start of the year is award show season, so all of the artists are enjoying the last of their time off before they start rehearsals and kick off tours. But for the roadie it's, "Why isn't my phone ringing?" "Why don't I have anything confirmed?" "Did I piss someone off and that's why no one's calling me?" "Why did so-and-so get the call for "blank" gig but they didn't call me?!" "Who did I piss off???"
When what you want to say is, "Well right now, you're pissing me off. Let it go. You go through this EVERY. YEAR. You freak out and then a day later, you get an email or a phone call and everything changes. This is the universe testing you. You've been asking for time off, now you have it. Quit stressing yourself out and enjoy the time off that you work so hard for!"
But how many times can you remind him of all of those things before he calls your bullshit for repeating yourself for the last 2 months?
It's scary. When the financial burden of your household rides on your shoulders, I imagine its terrifying. You're going to have a lot of those days where the atmosphere in your house is thick, heavy, and suffocating. He's going to mentally be spinning his wheels and its our responsibility to help in any way we can (otherwise we're gonna be miserable too because bad moods rub off).
And not by asking, "What's wrong?" "Are you ok?" all the time. Something I'm 100% guilty of, myself.
Whatever you do, when finances are tight, DO NOT talk about it with people, ESPECIALLY in front of your bread winner. Nothing is more hurtful to a man than broadcasting to the world (yes, even your family/mother/best friend counts as "the world") that money's tight. He leaves his home and family to provide. He already feels like he's at an unfair advantage because outsiders feel they can talk about "so-and-so who leaves their family to go on the road and chase their rockstar dreams," when we both know that's far from the truth.
Don't clip coupons (unless its something you already do), don't start making a point to bring up in conversation all of the "free" or "cheap" things you guys can do that will save you money. Just be supportive and make smart financial decisions. Any word or hint you make, will affect him. Even any word you don't say, will still affect him, because its all he's thinking about. I know, it sounds like I'm telling you to walk on eggshells regarding the subject. But what I'm really asking, is for us to stay MINDFUL.
The best advice I can give is for us not to take it personally. If you didn't do anything (you can recall) that pissed him off, his rain cloudy mood has nothing to do with you.
Get them outside. That's huge. But not around too many people. That's also huge. lol The reason being that when you're in a shitty mood, the last thing you want is to be around other people because it attracts idiots, and being surrounded by morons never improves a sour mood.
Remind them to be present in the moment. If you have little kids, get them to get down and interacting in their children's world. If you have teenagers, good fucking luck to you. Maybe have a date night and take pleasure in making them fend for themselves for dinner?
Whatever you do, try and channel that energy into something that's going to get a positive outcome. The gym, a bike ride, go out and walk the dog together and talk about your neighbors. Getting them out of the house is the key because we all know that the home can be a sanctuary, but also a soul sucker. Hell- you really want to earn some points, give him a blow job! It'll yank him out of his mood AND he'll go on knowing he's indebted to you (at least for a little while).
Happy Winter Slumpidays!!!
Hang in there, ladies!
